“I’ll Take care of you”

And the Greatest of these is Love

In my job, working with the masses, you sometimes are treated to the dregs of society, you sometimes see great heartbreak, and feel such deep loss that  you have to learn to harden your heart or the burdens of the people will burn you out. So when I’m out and about I create the NY city attitude, with the “don’t mess with me” face, the “I’ll kick your ass” body language and block out anything I can.

Normally when I ride the public transportation I ride with my ears plugged, and my music loud enough to drown the noise, but not enough to damage my ear drums. this is because sometimes the humanity that takes the bus or train is just too full of ignorance, despair or are sharing way too much info for me. It’s also a good way as an empath to aide in blocking the overwhelming amount of info coming in off the masses.

Today was different, it's a balmy and gorgeous 50 degrees outside.  At my stop was a mother and her  seven maybe eight year old son and they got on the bus with me (it's a stop many buses come to) Once we get on the bus I notice something immediately, perhaps the melting snow has made others feel nicer because the people on the bus are calm today; I decide to read. The mother sits in the seat in front of me, and her son sits in the seat in front of her.
When I'm reading i like to take little breaks to digest what I have read just to make sure the info has sunk in properly so I'm not too overwhelmed or miss the really good parts (plus it's good to look up every once in a while to make sure you haven't missed your stop). 

A few stops later, they took a seat together and I sat behind them, somewhere along the way I stopped to look up and was pulled in my the most amazing feeling coming from them and was treated to this piece of beauty

" One day mom I'm going to take care of you and you won't have to work"

and then he hugged her, and she said "awww" and returned his hug.

In that moment, I felt a sweet deep rush of love, and of hope. Turning on the news, sometimes sitting on the bus, you are bombarded with these horrible images of the future,and of humanity. It's sometimes enough to make you want to hand in your humanity card and tell the world to 'eff off', while you bury yourself in some log cabin in the woods. Yet, here in this moment, on a cool 'spring' day, a young man reminded me that like winter comes to an end, so too must the strife. And here was a little boy making a promise, a wish, to a woman who is his Mother, who has worked, and sacrificed for him, that one day all her hard work will come to fruition and it will be his turn to take care of her.

This dear readers is love, it's one that can't be fabricated, can't be purchased, and is very easily lost it's the love of child to parent, this is true "agape", as the Greeks would say.
There is a feeling of hope, and I sent a wish, with his to the angels, and to the Goddess, that one day his wish will come true, that he would live a wonderful healthy life and be able to make this wish this promise come true. This day I felt a lightening and knew that his wish had been heard. And for me, the guarded empath on the bus, i was given a sweet taste of love, all with sincere promise of a child, and like the snow outside, a small part of my 'hardened' heart melted. I didn't worry about what would come for him in the future, here was a shining light, a ray of hope, a promise of tomorrow:

"one day...... I will take care of you..."

There is no better 'love' tale than this.
Be Loved, Be Blessed

Children Learn

what they live.

For years while i went to college i worked as a nanny. I love children and my charges became like my own children. i helped to raise them, discipline them and teach them.  It was an amazing experience, it taught me more about raising children than observing my parents with my younger siblings ever could.

I wanted to share a story:

One of the first families I was a nanny for I started  when their children were two (Kelly) and 6 months old(Maria). I was there when she (maria) took her first step, said her first words, learned to use the potty and even when learned how all her alphabets. I was with them for three and 1/2 years and really enjoyed being there.  Mom worked from home, she owned her own business and her husband worked as her PR and human resources department.  Even though they worked in their wing of the house the children could come and go as they pleased (I really tried not to let this happen too often, but when the parents don't care then the rules don't stick).

Anyhoo, back to the story, one afternoon after the family was resettling back into their normal routine from vacation;  I was alone with my charges. The youngest, we will call her Maria, decided she wished to eat a piece of fruit, now normally this wouldn't be a problem, but over the vacation she had experienced reactions to the fruit which led to a hospital visit, so needless to say. No fruit for her.  Now normally this wouldn't be a problem, but today she threw a fit, I mean a full on no holds barred fit, cussing up a storm; I have never heard anyone use that kinda of language I mean really go at it. O_O

Of course I jumped in fixed her up real nice (along the lines of Who the Hell do you think oyu are talking to?)and set her to her room for the rest of the afternoon, no t.v nor books, no toys, she couldn't do anything without permission.  I was still attempting to wrap my mind around where she could have gotten this from when from the other wing of the house comes some serious stomping, shouting and yelling, I thought there was a fight taking place with a ton of drunk college students, using the same words that came outta the toddlers mouth was her father, yelling on the phone to a business contact about their "Unprofessional-ism" O_0

After dinner I told her parents what happened that afternoon and why she was on timeout for the rest of the afternoon, her older sister, who we will call Kelly asks " Will daddy be on time out too?" :O (couldn't have said it better myself)

So think about this, even though the children spent most of their days, with me away from their parents and their father's temper, they still managed to pick up the habit of cussing when things didn't go their way, not so much Kelly as he hadn't been home as much with her as with Maria,  imagine if she had thrown this tantrum somewhere else? Like say in the middle of church? In front of their friends?

Just because you think they can't understand you doesn't mean your children aren't learning, your tone of voice, your mannerisms, these are what children learn even before they can speak.

Keep that in mind the next time something doesn't go your way.
Do the things you want your children to learn and they will grow up how you want

Blessed be my loves

If your going to stay at home

do something to show for it. Now i understand you have a new addition to your family and a new child in an established family always takes getting used to. But this is disgusting.

I'm a germaphobe.   I will freely admit to that & there are few places I will eat out, and even fewer friends i will eat from. So color me surprised when a really put together friend of mine invited me to spend the weekend at the families summer home.

Yes Yes I understand that its summer and people have more important things to do than clean, but if your having friends over Shouldn't you at least pretend to clean??
My mom has what she calls "company clean" its the cleaning you do when your going to have company over, you know to make sure everything visible is neat and organized, you shut the doors on bedrooms not cleaned before company arrives and no one will ever know about those messes. Now my mom would make Johnson &Johnson proud, she uses bleach like its water, she uses Comet/Ajax regularly so doing "company clean" usually for her means putting away the shoes that have collected at the most used doors (garage, front and back doors); and maybe fluffing up some pillows, Her house stays "company clean" and with a family like ours it has to.
Growing up my home was the neighborhood club house, everyone came over and usually unannounced, different cousins would drop by and have their friends with them and my sisters friends were over so often they knew where all the dishes were!!
A clean house is a necessity.

Back to our story:  I love water, i mean really love drinking water and i love Brita water filters, (this will make sense in a  moment), its the second night here and its a little after midnight i get thirsty and go get some water, the pitcher is empty its a huge Brita family pitcher and I "being a good friend" decide to fill it up, flip the light switch cause now i need to see what I am doing not just pouring water anymore.... (the pitcher she has)

Imagine walking into a room that's covered in grime and slime, you wouldn't expect to find anything clean there right??? Now imagine my horror when i pulled of the cap and discovered the mess waiting for me.

There was mold, i mean serious deep green mold, mold that comes around when something hasn't been cleaned in months years even, the filter was covered i mean covered in mold and the black sand from inside had migrated into the holding chamber. (picture below of filters looking nice and clean)

I wanted to throw-up. I have been there for two days now drinking eight glasses of water everyday, using ice from her fridge, eating meals from her fridge and she has MOLD!! You what the sad part is her fridge is white the water pitcher is white the outside looks clean its the inside of the chamber that's a mess, which begs me to wonder when was the last time she changed the filter?!?!?!? Because this is gross
Color me horrified
 Trying not to gag i grab the gloves and dish washing liquid hit the hot water tap to scalding and went to work.  The part that is horrifying is that children have been drinking from this. Yes dear readers including a baby who bottle feeds. Tyring not to imagine that this is now in my system i go to put the pitcher away when i notice something black on the dish drainer, the container that holds my plates from dinner, when the lip of my cup sits, when the point of the knife i used to cut the steak is resting ..... you guessed it more mold not green this time, this mold is the worst kind its black, it covers the entire bottom draining board; the cup where the silverware is wallowing in it, the spouts for the cups also have some and i have to wonder how the fudge can people live this way???? How did i not know you were nasty??? I'm never ever eating from you again. If i get sick from this I'm dropping you as a friend this is gross, i can ignore the fact that there are no organization in your home, i can pretend not to notice that Toys R Us threw up in your house, that your children knows nothing about picking up after themselves but can tell me how to beat the next mission in call of duty 4, but this this is what really changes a friendship.


I know i know your a new (again, you would think after a few she would have some experience) mom and you have more important things to worry about, well think on this, a clean home is a healthy home, which is a HAPPY home. Cause if its not clean, it becomes as we have already seen a place for mold to grow, and if you don't sweep the dining room soon it will be a haven for rodents, and the no-existent trash bins (garbage hanging from a door handle in the kitchen is sooooooo over ) go to the dollar store and buy some they cost $1.00 you have the money for gameboy games you have the money for trash bins.  When it becomes unhealthy your family becomes unhealthy then the bills pile in and YOU become unhappy. 


Goddess only knows what else is hiding in that place!! I'm glad i had to leave.  The sad part is readers, she's a stay at home mom!!! what the heck are doing with your days??? the baby sleeps for hours on end, what are you doing??? You have a daughter if you don't teach her who will?? And you son is going to think its ok to do this with his future wife, you need To. Do. Better. Set a good example.

 Is she acting out?? Is that it?? I know she dealt with depression before but this is crazy!! There is not being motivated and then there is just plain lazy. I'll tell you readers, she goes out three to four times a week, she needs to stay home and really clean that place, not just "company clean".
what say you readers, am I being too harsh? I understand she has a new child but what the hell is her husband doing then? Cause he's just as culpable, i know I'm not the only person to have lifted the container top to fill it.



As always Fly safe and CLEAN dear readers.

Becoming Our Parents...

As a teen we all swear it to ourselves, in a moment of rash decision we may even scream it at the top of our lungs..."When i grow up & have children Ill NEVER treat them like you do" of course in our teenage angst we are all convinced our parents are the WORST parents ever( & they aren't even anywhere near it).
I mean who really has a reasonable curfew?? Why doesn't the argument "All my friends are doing it" work?
Give me a moment my loves and i will explain what brought this on:

 It recently came to my attention while I was having an  argument.....disagreement No discussion yeah that's it it was a discussion with a (& I am so ashamed to admit this) two year old who kept asking me " Why Why Why WHY"

Oh dear readers don't laugh now,  if you have a toddler you know whats coming you know what all frustrated adults say to a toddler who just won't for the love of the Gods shut up, Heck you have  probably said it yourself (You know what coming, so all together Now) :

BECAUSE I SAID SO.

Yes Ladies and Gents i pulled that card.
I was of course immediately remorseful and really wanted to cry because I swore i would never become my mother (I'll explain in a minute).

So back to the fight.... uhmm..... i mean discussion, after yelling this (and surprise surprise) he took that excuse and left, i calmly went over and talked to him explaining as much as one can explain to a toddler and left it at that. He was fine, me, i could feel the tetonic plates of my understanding of parenting and being an adult shifting.

 What does anyone who feels there world changing do?? They call their mother!! (the woman responsible for all this). So i called her (my mother) up and told her what happened and she had a great big ole laugh at my expense, i mean really i put the phone down came back like twenty mins later and she was still laughing (apparently i was very convincing when i was younger, and she didn't expect this call at all).

Let me explain my Mom.  She is a great Mom one couldn't have asked for a better Mom ( ok she's not a saint but she did alright). She was really good at listening and sharing all the "pearls of wisdom" (word to the wise if your child is on the cusp of becoming a teenager they really don't care about your "Pearls of wisdom"), she was there (like even when i totally wanted her to like disappear "She's so embarrasing" my 12 yr old self keeps whispering), she was strict (what are rules and why do i have to follow them? my 15yr old self keeps demanding ), supportive and at times (like all parents who grew up in a different era) bat-shit crazy; her fears were't the same as mine, her limitations weren't the same as mine and at times our world's and cultural differences clashed ( she grew up under the British system and me the American). We did however have a lot in common, she was an English professor on an all women's college (more on that later) so she shared her passion for knowledge and reading with my sisters and I. (I was the only 13yr I knew who could quote from all yes ALL of the Shakespearean plays) We had a love for plays, and fashion, and cooking, every Sunday we went to church, came home read the Sunday paper and cooked an amazing dinner while i learned new dishes every week.  Eventually as with all things time moved on and the the gap between our generations became bigger every year.  And as infallible teens will never admit it "we do NEED our parents to be there and CARE". (just not being there and caring in front of our friends "God mom, not in front of my school")


 My mom's decisions in life have impacted mine in a positive way and that of my sisters also, just as her mom;s decisions impacted her, her insistence on education, on waiting for marriage, on holding out for the person who knows your worth and is willing to cherish it these have greatly enhanced my life (even when i wasn't ready to admit it, deep down i knew it)


I looked into the face of my Grandmother, and Mother the other day and realized that they are MY ancestry, they will one day guide me from the other side as they do so now, and as annoying as it can be sometimes, we have to remember THEY were young once too and when they talk they are talking from experience. I can glean the knowledge hidden within and move on or i can fight it learn the hard way and then attempt to pass the lesson learned on to the next generation.

According to my mother its the mothers curse, they wish that one day you would know how annoying( horrible, bitchy, bratty, take your pick)  you were to them and eventually you do learn (Sweet Goddess imagine if I'd have been a horrible teenage?)  As this wasn't the first time I'd caught myself saying something or doing something she used to do  ( think "  I will pull this broom over and you WILL regret it) I KNOW it works (crap, parents revenge)

And as this moment in my "discussion" I learned the greatest lesson: It can be both a blessing & a curse to become our parents, but how we adjust to it is up to us. And how it manifests, whether the lessons learned are good or bad, we have the choice to do better than they did.

So dear readers have any moments you realized you were turning into your parents? Good or Bad? What was the scariest moment?

And as always try to to fly under the radar, and fly safe my loves

Awww they say

that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

How my day went from great to worst in the span of twenty minutes. 


As with any plans pertaining to children there is never a sure bet. The oldest had tennis lessons this morning and the youngest after having a hissy fit because he couldn't be with his sister was in a sour mood. I let him let off steam for 10 mins by watching Toot and Puddle (who really came up with this name for a children's cartoon I'll never understand, but that's for another time), we then go outside so he can play tennis too and he just was not feeling it, I'm a poor substitute for his sister (thrown over for a 4 year old, I'm struggling to pick up my self-esteem) .

I decide that a walk will do us fine ( I will come to regret this decision in a little while). He decides he doesn't want to walk but ride so I allow him to climb into his all terrain walker and off we go.  This has been a week of record highs and then wicked thunderstorms, so this mornings clear skies and soft breezes inspired me to walk even further than normal I mean its  930 am and only 73 degrees outside and perfect to go.

He is finally engaging with me and requests that we hit the trail that runs behind the house (O_O) & i thought Whew he's talking to me again lets GO!!! (stop laughing) the trail starts off pretty rough then becomes a great for an off road stroller to go,

I carry him down the steep hill then he's back into his stroller and off we go, we aren't the only ones taking advantage of the cooler climate there are several people with children and dogs on the trail, for some reason everyone felt the need to warn me that i was going to break my stroller on the trail (Ugh i know what i'm doing people thanks). I think now would be a good time to mention I am wearing flip-flops (O_o,  oh read on this only gets better!!).  As we are waking I noticed that there are more roots from the trees than I ever noticed before and certainly more debris on the ground, so out of the stroller he goes and start walking, I'm carrying the stroller now and its time to go home because his sister will be dropped off from her lesson soon.

Sooooo genius that I am I decide " Why don't we use the cut behind the house instead of walking all the way back?" (I will later pay for this thought) remember I am with a 2 year old and carrying a stroller and we go off the beaten path to what used to be a easy walk up to the backyard, but sometime in the last few days the rain has washed alot of debris into the half trail behind the house and soaked the ground (I'm still in flip-flops) going up hill

Things go from bad to worst:

1) the rain has washed away the path (O_O)
2) and I no longer have any landmarks.

The next fifteen minutes are a painful amount of walking around with a toddler on my back complaining that he wants to go home and me trying my best not to cry, finally i see the back deck then realize I'm closer to the neighbors house and need to go across to my destination because the neighbors' woods are filled with poision oak (I am not at all happy at this point).

I finally figure out how to cut across to get to our back deck,(angels sing" Glory Glory !!) then as I'm walking up hill to the deck

Whoosh

the heat hits and I get drenched walking with the stroller and baby we finally clear all woods and are back on the little path to the house, He wants down and runs peddle for the meddle to the house (Ok so now you can run ) I finally make into the gargage & collapse, not two seconds later the car caring child number two comes rolling up......

 I look at the clock it's only 1030 AM , and I am reminded that with children there is no rest for the weary.......


Never fear readers there is a part two to this day's tale that must be told at another time

as always

Don't fly too low or too high

It taste just like.....

....Chicken.

 Yeah Yeah i know we have all heard the tales of how something we have never had before how similar it taste to chicken well im here to tell you its A LIE darn it its all a LIE it never taste like chicken.

Let's start this tale off right;
I went to support my sister at her school's Black Student Union event, where they had tables set-up by different students, and groups, and of course a wonderful (read free) lunch, of every culinary newness as possible, and a petting zoo.

It was a way for the sororities and frats to do something good and bring the different factions of her small school together.  The event went off without a hitch, at first it was a little slow, then the petting  showed up and everyone came out.

I got to hold an american alligator, I had to do the pixalating, I don't know the people behind me and my facial expression is too weird, gators are squishy and it felt odd, it was both muscular and squishy at the same time, so I pulled a face, and of course that's the picture they snapped UGH!!

There were many tables that were placed outside with different displays. Including my sisters',

only problem was it was hot and they forgot to bring out shade for us, and they happened to pick the most in the sun quad. So we were sitting out in the heat of the day dying, of course then they brought out the food:
Wild flower salad:

Bloodfruit and something else I can't remember.

and the piece that inspired this post, Spicy Fried Gator:

It was chewy, and crispy, spicy and very different. It was nothing like chicken, it took like an hour for me to get up courage to actually try it. The salad went down easy, the bloodfruit was actually really good, the gator?!?!?!? Well all I can say is that I tried it. I won't be going out of my way to eat it, but it's something I can say I did. it was especially weird because I had just held a gator and now I was munching on one.

Here are the other animal pictures:
Lynx, it was easy to hold actually:

The lynx close-up, it was actually pretty friendly, it didn't scratch or attempt to leave when it was done. It just sat there.

The Gator before I held him:

The animals are generally rescued, the show was a way to earn money to help keep the preserve open. They collect exotic 'pets' that owners turn out and the country doesn't know how to deal with.  It was an excellent show because they had all kinds of animals, including a python that at 20 feet is considered a baby.@_@

But we had fun and I got to check off two of my bucket list items. So it was a good day.
Be Blessed everyone and thanks for reading