Monday 27 August 2012

Missing Community....

I'm a solitary, I love being on my own, to me I'm pretty awesome company. I don't fear being alone; I don't mind the company of my thoughts. I don't have to be plugged in or distracted, I simply lay down on the couch or in bed and let my mind wander; no music just the silence and my own thoughts, sometimes I think great thoughts and come to epiphanies; sometimes I remember incidents that make me cringe and I wonder what could have been done differently, sometimes I simply remember the great moments of the week.  I'm a homebody, a wise old soul in a young woman's body and for me being still and solitary with myself is far more important than being among the crowd.  I enjoy this time, because after the solitary silence I have to hang out with family, friends, coworkers and there are very few moments to think when with them. Yet even I with my happy little corner, need community, a place where i fit, where my feelings are validated, my thoughts and opinions shared, where there are those with common beliefs, ideals and standards.

About a year ago, (I'm sure your remember) the fiasco with Kris from Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom running on the Circle of Moms interfaith blog contest; several women got up in arms when they realized a pagan and witch were in the competition and even went so far as to personally attack several of the women involved.  In the end, Kris won because the pagan mommy community got behind her, several other pagan moms made the top ten,and I discovered several really great blogs. I confess I'm not a mother, but the community that is found there was amazing. especially the christian ones who stood up for the other faith mothers. One of the women who acted with grace was Courtney from I loved Julie's post, check out the amazing discussion and dialogue that was opened up by her post and her call and comparison of the Christian women and their reaction compared to the pagan blog and their rallying around Kris.

Now personally I'm not Christian and not considering going back, but I must say that the community I have witnessed on these blogs have made me jealous.  Perhaps, it has to do with their unified beliefs and one cannon that they have a commonality that allows them to work well together.  I don't  know, but I love watching their monthly events like their book clubs and bible studies.  All of this is to say I have found this lacking within the pagan community, or maybe it's because I haven't ventured out into that aspect of our community. I have googled and haven't found the kind of link up events where they share on a common theme, the only thing I have seen is the Pagan blog Prompts, which is a really great idea especially when you have nothing to write about.  But I want that, the kind of community I have witnessed, the community that my mother has at her home church where when one of the women was ill they all took turns in the bible study group in making a meal and bringing it over.  
I want that, I want us as a  community to be able to share our common themes and beliefs, yes we don't have a common cannon that we can turn to and say "here is what the Goddess says about sex, love, marriage, finances, raising our kids"; hell we can't even get people to agree on what Doreen really said/meant in the chant.  For me not having that as a guide can sometimes feel lonely, feeling as if I have to sit and figure out what the Goddess intends for this aspect of my life is very daunting. Subsequent generations won't have that because they will have out book of shadows to learn from, but who are we learning from now??So many of the teachers are contested and vilified by so many others, and lets be real some of the books being published shouldn't even be doing so.  
Yes, I work with the Goddess and pray with her, but sometimes I would love to go seek and find comforting words that say" hey this is what she said before and it's what she means for this situation'.  I'm not a mom so many of the pagan mom blogs don't pertain to me, I'm not married so many of the other blogs that focus on women and marriage don't pertain to me. Yes I read tons of book blogs, and crafting blogs, and blogs about lupus, I even read blogs by African American women who are doing success in their own lives, but what about the young black women who are all of these but aren't moms?? Or heck women period who aren't moms or married who aren't looking for either at the moment where do we go?? What aspect do we fit in?? Where's the advice for us??  I'm not a maiden anymore, I'm not a mother and I'm certainly no where near Cronehood *although I am looking forward to these years* I still have many more years in me where is the community for me??

I have seen several blogs in the christian community geared towards women like me who are seeking this kind of community and I can't help but wonder how come there isn't one for the pagan community.   I love reading many of the pagan blogs that I am subscribed to; but sometimes they deal with issues I have no understanding of, I'm not a mom, or grandmom, I don't have a lifelong partner that i have been with for over ten years liek some fo you (can I tell you how jealous I am of that?? Or how I'm storing up your lessons for when I am in that situation!!) and although I can empathize as a woman,& as a witch, that can only go so far, so again I ask where are the women like me??

My friend Vikki has attempted to fill that void on YT, by creating a collaboration channel called The Divine Sisterhood, 
which will discuss all kinds of things pertaining to women. Health, relationships, spirituality (although there are a ton of vlogs and channels addressing that aspect already). I think this is a wonderful opportunity, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

I still do have to wonder though, why aren't their any books being written, or articles addressing this. Te pagan community has grown by leaps and bounds, the free spirited feminist drive that originally started many of the traditions or simply popularized them have mellowed as their (some not all) leaders have matured, their are now more people within the community who are from several walks of life, men, women, trans=gendered, straight, gay, married, hand fastened, poly and all kinds of different flavors; yet no one has written anything for this. 

There is a whole community that is being ignored, a whole community of men and women who are being left out in the cold, because we don't fit the stereotypes or archetypes that have been created. many of these archetypes exclude the newer generation, how do we revolutionize this and still keep what is necessary??

 How can we build a community when we don't all think, feel or believe the same thing?? How do we create a safe place for women who aren't maidens and aren't mothers to go to, and feel as if they aren't alone. Have you found any of these within your own community?? How about books, blogs, vlogs, youtube channels, magazines, anything addressing the needs of the growing pagan young adults?? Please share in the comments sections, as I will love to share that with others as well.

Love & Light always

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