Tuesday 31 August 2010

Book Review:

"Women, Work, & Autoimmune Disease" by Rosalind Joffe, M. Ed


This book is great!! I have Lupus, and have found myself struggling with my job, because I need a nap at the most inconvenient times, I get frequent fevers, and infections and just generally get lost in the mire of my self-pity.

This book was both an eye-opener and an inspiration. i wish it had been geared more towards lupus but neither of the authors have lupus so they can't talk about what they don't personally understand. They did use a lot of stories to illustrate their points which made taking the information a whole lot easier than if they had simply "lectured" the reader on what to do. The book is a quick but excellent read on evaluating your career goals and your real health needs, and how to balance the two.

Negatives of the book: most of the women they discussed had diseases that were foreign to me so even though I understand them on a professional level(meaning i know what they are but have never personally experienced them), so unfortunately on a personal level their scenarios really didn't help me. (You can only empathize so much in any given situation before it seems like your pitying the person or situation, since you have no really experience with it)

2) I wish she had given more resources, for life coaches & the career coaches she suggests.
3)She focused more on women in professional setting and rarely discussed anyone not in those fields.

This bothered me because many of the younger women I know who have Autoimmune Diseases aren't all college students or professors.  I understand this book can't cover everyone's circumstances but a few women who worked retail would have helped my friend who has been recently diagnosed with the disease.

Despite those few (more like my personal opinion of ) drawbacks this book was well thought out and equally well written. The questions she included are also very good and really get you thinking.

I would recommend this book for women who are learning to juggle their disease and their lives as well.

happy reading my loves

Monday 30 August 2010

Kiss your hands to her times two



Hey have you ever looked at the movies and seen those amazing "werewolf" moons? You know the moons they use when they show the shadow moving over the moon then the man changes into the monster awwww.

I was going through the pics on my laptop and happened on this beauty from last December. Taken from my back step at 5:33 am (yeah the camera saves alot of details). As I drift deeper into my faith I had begun to notice the moon and the sky more. Paying attention to where the moon rises and where it sets. 
How I feel when I see the moon changes each month & sometimes even as I watch it rise.  I thought i would share them with you:










I have been watching the moon for the last few nights & have noticed the changes in how I fell as I was watching it. How much closer I felt to the Goddess as the moon flowed into room, I enjoyed how it plays over the furniture & over myself. I love to sit and pray beneath the moonbeams. Watching as the moon moves across the sky & sets, its pretty amazing.

How do you feel when the moonbeam flows over you? How does the moon inspire you?

Sunday 29 August 2010

Sacred Pampering Ritual:

Hello my loves

Welcome to another week of sacred pampering. A lot of what we will be discussing is taken from the the book "Sacred Pampering Principles" by Debrena Jackson Gandy and "Body Sacred" by Dianne Sylvan.

One of the major issues we face in taking time for ourselves is feeling like we are somehow taking away from the people we are taking care of.  We have the image of being the Superwoman in our lives (& unfortunately we sometimes have to be).
Its hard to step away from this guilt & understand that we have to take care of ourselves first to be able to take care of the others in our lives.
So this week ask yourself the following questions:
1) If you were in the "perfect" relationship you dream of what would you do in your life that you aren't doing now? Would you cook more, eat out more, dance more? What would you do?

2)What brings you Joy? What brought you joy as a little child? (try to list ten things each)

3) what are the myths that keep you from achieving these joys? From taking care of yourself if you were in the "perfect relationship with the perfect partner"?
list them all no one else is going to see the list so write it all out!!!

Have a Blessed Weekend my loves

Saturday 28 August 2010

Exploring My state: Walk on the Beach

Exploring Connecticut
DSCN3173

The North is known for its amazing coast lines, many people when they discuss New England talk about Mass & Maine when they really discuss the beaches, but CT is not to be forgotten. The amazing Long Island Sound creates a gorgeous beach line in Fairfield County, & Block Island; further out there is Mystic and all its amazing views & a short drive into Mass.
DSCN3187

My summer plan was to get to know my state better, so it was more of a staycation than a vacation, but i considered the fact that others come to CT to watch the leaves change in the Fall or drive out to Mystic and I live here its not really a boring staycation its a getting to know my state.
DSCN3172

So far this summer I have gone up to Mystic, (I went as a child but I wanted to go as an adult), I have also gone into Danbury, where there are remnants of the Revolutionary War, as well as seeing the Danbury Train Museum. I also went to several local farms, and roamed many a trail in the local parks. (My Gods this state has a lot of parks)

I'm putting up a video of my walk along the beach in Fairfield county:



Enjoy the rest of your weekend my loves. blessed be

Friday 27 August 2010

Paranormal Telly: Vampire Diaries Pre ~Season Review

Stephan, Elena, Damon
I have to admit when I heard they were going to make these books into a tv show I was seriously excited. During high school thoughts of Damon Salvatore fueled a lot of fantasies (me kicking Elena to the side and Damon loving me instead, What?? A girl can dream!!).  I was really looking forward to meeting the kick ass Meredith, the slightly ditzy Bonnie, and the whole host of characters, including Elena's nemesis Caroline.

Color me surprised when reading L.J Smith's website she mentioned that there wasn't going to be a Meredith O_O. This is the author who's books about Salem Mass helped to fuel my journey into paganism, so i was not happy to hear they were messing with the way things were!!

But i resigned myself to watching just to see what the series was going to be like, and I must say even though they depart greatly from the books, they do manage to carry some of the story in. Now if you haven't had the chance to read the books, I won't ruin the show for you, but in the books Meredith is an essential character, Stefan isn't such a wimp (or maybe he is hmmm have to go re-read these then) and Elena was definetly Blonde. My sister who is a teenager and has had the privilege of reading my copy of the books (they still look brand new I'll freely admit to being anal about my books) mentioned that the reason they changed it was well to make her look more like Bella ( a book series  she has read but I haven't)

Check out the show, its pretty good.  The Damon guy is gorgeous. The show actually flows pretty well, especially if you haven't read the books. (Doesn't mean you shouldn't give them a try, I love them to this day) And side note I actually liked the old covers the new covers don't quite carry the same feel to it the others did, maybe just me, but hey whatchagoinado?

Anyhoo. park the broom and enjoy the show!!

Thursday 26 August 2010

Comfort Zone

Many of us (myself included) find it hard to leave a zone with which we have familiarity.  Once we know a routine, we tend to stick to it. Its part and parcel of being a human being.
I was in a discussion with a cousin the other day and noted that this season is my favourite due to all the good memories assoicated with getting ready for school.

Now I'm originially from NYC and loved to go shopping in Fordham Road, where they had a open air mall with ever kind of store you can think of. At the top ruling over it all was Caldor (yes I know this ages me but what can i say?) Caldor was the best store to shop for school supplies, the bargain basement prices would make Walmart jealous.  My Mom loved to plan ahead for the school year and with four girls in school only a few grades apart its little wonder. She had a special white storage container she would always fill with supplies before the school year started and it would last throughout the year. Seeing that container filled with our stuff, knowing everything was crisp and new filled me with a great sense of excitement. Man do i miss those days. We would go shopping for Lisa Frank accessories (Dont. Judge. Me)


Going from Caldor (before it closed) we would head to Woolworth and have an amazing smoothie, then shop for whatever we didn't get at Caldor. In NYC you didn't go to school without a Jansport black book-bag, a new pair of tims, and a Columbia or NorthFace bubble coat (ok Back OFF I know Im aging myself NO need to laugh), these were the only things I was allowed to wear as i attended private school for most of my academic career.

So back to the discussion with my cousin, while we were talking it hit me like a ton of bricks one of the reasons I took so long to finish college (& then I went back again, just a glutton for punishment I guess) was the feeling you get when you purchase those things, it reminded  me of the shopping trips with my mother in NY and I guess delaying finishing subconsciously allowed me to hold on to the moments of prepping for the fall.  Now I know a grown rational person wouldn't think of doing that but its not a conscious thought or decision, my circumstances always seemed to fit into a reason (read Excuse) for me not to take that necessary class, and then I was diagnosed and needed to get my health undercontrol so i took time off, (this was a major mistake, oh well, hindsight and all that jazz)

Once i realized why i was taking so long it just seemed to shock me out of my fears. I didn't realize i was holding back because I feared I wouldn't succeed (who doesn't have this fear?)l or that I was afraid of letting go of the happy memories associated with Fall prep? Now its time to go beyond those feeling and get out of my comfort zone and move beyond this. I need to finish this degree to do what i have always wanted to do since I followed my uncle around on his rounds in the hospital. I know what I have to do and now its time. Bet my cousin never thought a simple conversation would aide in galvanizing me into changing.

No more excuses; Its time to bust out the big girl panties and get moving.

{I have other AHA moments from this convo that I will share with you another time in the meantime:}

What have you procrastinated in accomplishing due to fear of the unknown? What has been holding you back?

As always my loves, Fly safe, and sane

Wednesday 25 August 2010

Harvesting the Garden

its the beginning of fall and its about time to start the real harvesting, freezing, preserving and canning.

When we first moved to our home we started with a small plot and over the years added in more and more of our back and side gardens to the yielding plots. We rotate our crops every two years to prevent the pest from getting too used to one spot, we have pots of herbs, and raised beds with fruit trees, and a great patch for pumpkins and strawberries.

I wanted to show some of our yields this year so far, mind you i have many in the deep freezer already, and of course nothing beats the sweet taste of a fresh tomato or zucchini from your own garden.  Picking oregano, thyme, mint and Jamaican peppers just as you plan to use them is nothing short of amazing. We have enjoyed zucchini bread so many times this summer, my sister has the recipe down pat.

Here are some of my string beans that i picked earlier and froze(the bag hadn't sealed properly so a little ice on there means we use it now-in today's dinner actually)




















My cayenne peppers are hot enough to smell the heat even before you cut them. And of course the Scotch Bonnet pepper bring the heat like nobody's business, other than the ghost chili pepper from South America, these Jamaican babies can make you cry just from the scent, when they are in any dish you are guaranteed to need some bread and water to cool your mouth.  I have bags upon bags of harvested callaloo (which is like collard greens) stored already in the deep freeze.

My mint which went to seed
There always seems like something is coming into its prime and needs to be picked.  At times this is great but sometimes things slip through the cracks like my mint which has gone to seed sooner than i meant for it to do so. In Jamaica you can use the seeds to make a great tea thats stronger than the regular leaves and is kinda spicy so i wanted the seeds just not the whole plant to go to seed, i meant to cut some and let it continue to bloom greatly. It slipped my mind and i went outside this morning a realized the whole plant was done. I mean ready for bed done, I planned to bring it in so i would have fresh mint tea all winter, but there goes that plan.

Anyway I wish to show you all of what has been picked this week. so here is my video:


I hope your harvest is going well also, as always my loves
Happy and Safe flights and Welcome Fall




Tuesday 24 August 2010

Series Review: Rachel Caine's Weather Warden


Hi my loves

this week i will be talking about an amazing series by Rachel Caine named the Weather Warden. Now I haven't had the chance to complete the whole series  (I'm working on it I swear) but the books I have read are just mind boggling and amazing. Makes you look at the weather differently and wonder how much better would the world be if there really were people with the ability to control the weather, but then I think about what else comes with this world (from the book) and I reconsider. Then i remember the really really smoking hot Ginn and i reconsider the reconsider (make sense?, yeah not to me either :P)
Anyhoo if you have a chance check out Rachel's website, she used to have amazing song lists up as she wrote each book and I learned about some amazing bands from her.
The Books i have gotten a chance to read and re-read (as i tend to forget somethings when i read too many series one right after the other) are :


the other books in the series yet to be read ( Gods my list grows longer daily) :
Fire Storm
Thin Air
Gale Force
Cape Storm
Total Eclipse

I love them because the lead character is female and she is kick ass but enjoys a good pair of shoes and who doesn't love shoes, and she has a taste for heart pumping makes me jealous cars.

Enjoy reading dear readers

Let me know which of the books you enjoyed reading and any new authors you think i should look into.




Monday 23 August 2010

Children Learn

what they live.



For years while i went to college i worked as a nanny. I love children and my charges became like my own children. i helped to raise them, discipline them and teach them.  It was an amazing experience, it taught me more about raising children than observing my parents with my younger siblings ever could.

I wanted to share a story:

One of the first families I was a nanny for I started  when their children were two (Kelly) and 6 months old(Maria). I was there when she (maria) took her first step, said her first words, learned to use the potty and even when learned how all her alphabets. I was with them for three and 1/2 years and really enjoyed being there.  Mom worked from home, she owned her own business and her husband worked as her PR and human resources department.  Even though they worked in their wing of the house the children could come and go as they pleased (I really tried not to let this happen too often, but when the parents don't care then the rules don't stick).

Anyhoo, back to the story, one afternoon after the family was resettling back into their normal routine from vacation;  I was alone with my charges. The youngest, we will call her Maria, decided she wished to eat a piece of fruit, now normally this wouldn't be a problem, but over the vacation she had experienced reactions to the fruit which led to a hospital visit, so needless to say. No fruit for her.  Now normally this wouldn't be a problem, but today she threw a fit, I mean a full on no holds barred fit, cussing up a storm; I have never heard anyone use that kinda of language I mean really go at it. O_O

Of course I jumped in fixed her up real nice (along the lines of Who the Hell do you think oyu are talking to?)and set her to her room for the rest of the afternoon, no t.v nor books, no toys, she couldn't do anything without permission.  I was still attempting to wrap my mind around where she could have gotten this from when from the other wing of the house comes some serious stomping, shouting and yelling, I thought there was a fight taking place with a ton of drunk college students, using the same words that came outta the toddlers mouth was her father, yelling on the phone to a business contact about their "Unprofessional-ism" O_0

After dinner I told her parents what happened that afternoon and why she was on timeout for the rest of the afternoon, her older sister, who we will call Kelly asks " Will daddy be on time out too?" :O (couldn't have said it better myself)

So think about this, even though the children spent most of their days, with me away from their parents and their father's temper, they still managed to pick up the habit of cussing when things didn't go their way, not so much Kelly as he hadn't been home as much with her as with Maria,  imagine if she had thrown this tantrum somewhere else? Like say in the middle of church? In front of their friends?

Just because you think they can't understand you doesn't mean your children aren't learning, your tone of voice, your mannerisms, these are what children learn even before they can speak.

Keep that in mind the next time something doesn't go your way.
Do the things you want your children to learn and they will grow up how you want

Blessed be my loves

Sunday 22 August 2010

Sacred Pampering Ritual:

Hi my loves,
 hopefully you have found a good schedule that works for youl and that you have begun to incorporate the Sacred Pampering Rituals into your life.

Today  is going to be a little different, how do you ask?  Today I want you to unplug; shut down the computer, turn off the phone, and just walk outside.

In our state its drizzling but there is nothing like walking and feeling as if the Goddess is washing you clean as you walk.  Pause put your feet on the ground, feel the earth beneath you feel the sky above you, reconnect, even if but a few moments before you return back to home, work and family.

Take these few moments and relax. Let yourself go and let the earth renew you today. For today be simple, the bills, emails, voicemails, and everything will still be there, but you need a moment to come back to center & ground yourself. Listen to the still quiet voice within and just BE!!

That's it my loves: Simply relax and let the Goddess flow over you today.

Go unplug everything (not the fridge) but all the things you don't need right this moment and take a few moments to reconnect to plug back into you.

As always my loves,
Blessed Be and fly safe

Saturday 21 August 2010

Green Cleaning




Today is major cleaning day for me, mostly i break down the house cleaning to one day each week.

Monday- Kitchen
Tuesday- bathrooms
Wednesday- Bedrooms & laundry
Thursday- Dining/Living Room
Friday- Floors
Saturday- Polishing, Dusting, Tossing Trash and such
Sunday- meal Prep, grocery shopping, ironing the next weeks cloths

I generally clean with green cleaners that I make myself or have bought & used and enjoyed in the past (yes I know it sounds weird that I enjoyed cleaning)

I sometimes change things depending how many friends i have had over and need to clean up after them or prep for their coming.

One of the best cleaners i have ever had was quite simple to make, Vinegar and water with lemon juice does so much, it bust grease on the counters, & brings a high gloss shine to windows. (and smells great too)

Heavy Duty Scouring Powder:

1/2 cup baking soda
1/2 cup borax
1/2 washing soda
4 1/2 tspn Essential oil

Make sure to label DO NOT STORE IN KITCHEN, product looks like grated Parmesan; also DO NOT use on grout as it is too harsh and can weaken it.

Minty fresh Blend:

1 tbs peppermint oil
1 tsp anise oil
1/2 tsp clove oil

Can be used in the toilet overnight and then used in the morning to clean really well!!!  

Some of the best cleaners I have ever purchased belong to the Method family, & the Seventh Generation family. 

 dishwashing liquid is Method
laundry detergent is Seventh Gen
Fabric softener is Seventh Gen
Furniture polish is Method

I am mixing the products because i have found that these work the best for me.  Method has an amazing floor cleaner for wood, which is like a swiffer cleaner, and has re-usable pads that you can throw into the wash. There is also one for regular floors with a microfiber cloth for it also (they are different colors so you don't mix them up). they also carry a set of bamboo cloths that can be thrown away or even into your compost.

So thats just an idea of what my cleaning basket looks like, these aide in maintaining my home, and make cleaning a not so tedious task.
As always my loves, have a fun safe day








Friday 20 August 2010

What fairy tales ...


never told me.

In many of the fairy tales we grew up with as children, the women get rescued and "cured" of their ailments and go on to live happily ever after once they are wed......... What BS!! Yes I'm calling BS on this. I'm really blaming Disney too, those darn cartoons with the perfect endings. (Ok its not really Disney's fault you bought the party line about love and happiness)
No where in any of those stories do these young women actively attempt to save their own necks, except maybe in Belle's case, but in Sleeping Beauty(otherwise known as Aurora) or Cinderella's case??
I mean really why didn't she just tell her step mother to kick rocks and go find a job somewhere? Why stick around for the promise of love and affection if you clean this perfectly?? Isn't that the definition of an abusive relationship?

We all can't be perfect Princesses
Anyhoo that wasn't the point of this blog, thats for another time. I wanted to discuss the concept of the perfect life: one where there is no strife, and you and Prince Charming (or Princess, whateva your preference, I don't judge) live fantastical amazingly perfect lives. (this is why i like the Brother's Grimm tales better than Disney)
Never in these stories do they get sick, never do they have doubts about their choices, never do they wonder about the Prince and his choices (I mean who kisses someone who looks dead? Those Princes deserve at least a weird side eye O_o  ie. Aurora & Snow White).
how different would the story have been if Cinderella had MS?? She probably wouldn't have made it to the ball then ugh?
Or Aurora, what if she had Lupus, when the Prince went to kiss her??

What if they really looked or acted like this would the Princess still have married them?
And what if Belle was suffering from OCD or depression? (guess she wouldn't have had time to fix the Beast then!!)
None of these scenarios would ever make it into a Disney movie because they are bits of escapism for everyone, young and old.  The only real problem that arises is when I see the children on the different wards in the hospital who hold these characters up as ideals, because they don't have their disease or difficulties.  Sometimes it can be could to see role models who are "healthy" (cause I really can't get down with Cindy hanging around with an abusive woman as good story to share with kids, physically she was fine, but ole girl has a few mental issues there); but we all seek to be apart of a group a place where we fit, and having a character on tv who looks like you, or who has the disease you have would go a long way in helping some of these kids have hope ( and lets face it for us adult sufferers too).


If some celebrity endorsed the Lupus Foundation  or talked about Lupus (other than Lady Gaga), it would go a long way in helping us feel like we fit in, and not so much like we are outcasts from the American Ideal Dream. Hell no one would dream of these diseases for themselves or their worst enemies, yet they are here and we have to deal with them and face the reality of them, and it would be nice not to have to feel like a freak when watching tv or movies with their perfect characters.


And feeling like your not alone goes along way in helping to accept your disease.
*It doesn't have to be a celebrity but it seems like no one knows about Lupus and what it is or how it affects you, and people make idiot assumptions all the time (like " So you have a immune disease, Is that like AIDS??" O_o). If someone could acknowledge it then more people would be willing to learn about it, not just when they or someone close becomes a Lupus patient.*
Stay healthy my loves and if not possible at least stay Positive


Thursday 19 August 2010

Paranormal #Telly: Blood Ties


Welcome back to another episode of me sharing my favorite paranormal shows. This week's feature is Blood Ties from Lifetime channel. This is a fantastic series based on Tanya Huff's Blood series. 
 
Before there was Sookie Stackhouse there was Vicki Nelson, private investigator.


Before there was William "Bill" Compton there was Henry Fitzroy (sorry Bill you lose t
his time)
Here is the synopsis of the show:
Get ready to take a thrilling ride alongside Vicki Nelson, a private investigator who specializes in solving supernatural crimes. Together with her assistant, Coreen; Vicki's ex-partner (and lover), Mike; and the sexy 450-year-old vampire, Henry, Vicki finds herself delving ever deeper into the secrets of the mystical world, all the while torn between her allegiance to Mike and her growing attraction to Henry.
The chemistry between the characters is amazing. You can really feel the sizzle with Henry, Vicki, and Mike. The storylines follow the books pretty well but man oh man Tanya Huff couldn't have picked a better vamp than Henry. Coreen is an amazing Goth chick who kicks ass when needed and her boss Vicki is too cool for school ( yeah I used it so sue me).

This show has amazing graphics and amazing storylines and I love the funny things from each episode
Vicki "You're really into this paranormal stuff"  Coreen " Like ectoplasm on a poltergeist" 
Had me howling for a few weeks looking for any opportunity to use it *never did get the chance :(*
You can watch the full seasons here online at mylifetime and purchase the dvds from amazon.com.

You can enjoy the books from Tanya Huff at your local Borders B&N or Amazon.

Updated on 10/17/2021. As some companies no longer exist I have linked to another you can get your copies from. Also discontinued the link to the lifetime channel as the show is no longer available on their website. 

As always my love
enjoy this new show


Wednesday 18 August 2010

It's in the Library

There are many books serious books about the pagan, witchy, alternative lifestyle out there. I'm going to tell you about some fiction ones you can check out and add to the library.

For teens in particular there are a few good books out there that properly portray who and what it is to be a witch.
The author I am talking about today is: Isobel Bird
Her books are great fun as they follow several young women on the journey to becoming witches as they study and learn about wicca on their year and a day.

The publisher's description of the series is:

"Are magical powers real? Can you use them to get good grades or a date with the cutest guy at school? Sophomore Kate Morgan isn't sure, but she's willing to find out. After bringing home some books on the Salem witch trials for a research project, Kate discovers a volume she doesn't remember checking out--Spells and Charms for the Modern Witch. Intrigued, she thinks she has found a quick fix for her Valentine's Day datelessness. But after hastily casting a love spell, Kate realizes she has set a universal force in motion that not only nets her intended hottie, but every guy at school. Suddenly all the boys at Beecher Falls High have a crush on Kate. Desperate to end the curse that makes all guys love her--and consequently, all girls hate her--Kate finds a way to uncover other wannabe teen witches."
There are 15 books in the series and they are all well worth reading and investigating even as adults. Here are their names:

  1. So Mote it Be
  2. Merry meet
  3. Second Sight 
  4. What the cards said
  5. In the dreaming
  6. Ring of light
  7. Blue moon
  8. The Five paths
  9. Through the Veil
  10. Making the Saint
  11. House of Winter
  12. Written in the Stars
  13. An it Harm None
  14. The Challenge box
  15. Initiation
I really enjoyed reading these books and watching the girls grow and learn about themselves and their magical strengths. The book follows the traditional one year and a day calendar and each one is a different Sabbat as well as a different lesson being learned on the path. Love them.

As always,
Happy reading my loves

Tuesday 17 August 2010

It's not everything

Sharing isn't always caring
you know that needs to be shared with your partner(s).

Secrets are called such for a darn reason.   Recently it has come to my attention that one of my friends is a leaky sieve when it comes to secrets. Let me explain:

One afternoon, after managing to hold in this secret for over seven months I divulged it to an extremely close friend with the understanding that she wasn't to say anything to anyone. Color me stupid but my understanding of anyone includes all friends family, therapist and partners. 
I will come to regret this.

Fast Forward to a few months later and I went over to her house and her husband and his brother kept giving me strange looks, so being that i have known them forever i finally ask what's up and imagine my face as my secret came spilling out the mouth of her brother in law. O_O

Why do you ask???

Because my friend opened up her big mouth and told her husband who figured if she was telling him then it was ok to talk about it and discussed it with his brother, who shared it with his wife, who shared it her sisters and now the whole family knows.  There are so many words i would like to use, but my Grandmother always says only riff-raff curses (I don't believe that but since things you put on the internet never disappear its best not to bother putting them out there).

What did i do you ask??

I left!! I was so pissed i would have definitely caught a case for beating her head in if i stayed. What the eff is the point of me telling you to keep it a secret if your going to blab to your man. I happen to know you keep secrets from him, I could really ruin your marriage if I told everything I knew. Yet something so important as this you couldn't keep to your darn self?
This is why i have few female friends.  Women like you give other women a bad name. 
Suffice to say i learned my lesson I have limited (if any) discussions with this friend now and I barely hang out with her. When questioned why she did it??
                                              She didn't think it would be that serious.

Next time i know better(there won't be a next time), ill keep my secrets to myself because obviously some "friends" can't be trusted.




We both saw the movie "Why did i get married?" and we both laughed our heads off at the dinner scene we both agreed  " not every thought that pops into your head needs to be shared with your man, especially other people's secrets."  she said this knowing the whole time that she darn well already divulged mine.

So hear it is ladies, you don't have to share everything you know with your man (same goes for you guys). Because Gods forbid something happens to your relationship; he now knows where to strike the most efficient blows at friends, and family and even yourself. 


Sad part of this story, (other than the ruined friendship), is now her marriage is on the rocks, despite her over-sharing of other people's secrets. And she still hasn't even begun to confess to half of her secrets. 


Now the point of this story isn't "Don't share with your partner"  I am just trying to say that somethings especially when asked by someone to keep it quiet should be kept QUIET.  How does it look to your family and friends if you can't keep simple secrets? Your not a trustworthy person, you become someone no one can rely on in a pinch, if you told a secret you weren't supposed to what else would you tell?  IF she had simply waited until I gave her the all clear she could have told her hubby with no problem, and she would still have a good friend now, when it seems all the people she used to gossip with have found other people now that her life is on rocky ground ( I believe those are called "fair weather friends").  


According to her hubby one of the reasons they are having these issues is because she doesn't know when to shut up, apparently she almost cost him his job, because she talked to someone, who knew someone, who knew his boss and it all back to the boss, about some sensitive company info. I mean no discretion at all.  


In Jamaica we have a song we like to blabber mouth children " Moutha massey lizza you no ere(hear) you mumma deh call you, you mouth deh fly you must tell lie,you no ere you mumma deh call you,  Lizza cliba you mouth"

Translation: "You talk too much, you don't hear others attempting to caution you, and because you talk so much you end up telling lies to keep talking. SHUT UP."

For her a hard lesson learned at 28, for me a lesson in knowing who to really trust with sensitive info.




As always fly safe and keep your secrets guarded well