One of the reasons I am a loner is because I am an Empath. Even after 18 years in the craft, I sometimes still get caught by surprise when strong emotions hit. Like yesterday, after watching the Oprah show I needed a nap. I felt drained, and tired, I was distracted when I sat down to watch it and never warded myself, by time the show was over I needed that nap. I woke up feeling dirty, like I was covered in inky darkness; I felt like someone had used me as a punching bag, everything ached. I needed a white bath fast.
Of Course, none of this occurred to me, while I wrote yesterday's post, I was crying so hard I couldn't see the words on the screen. Afterwards I went to sleep I was so deeply wounded and exhausted. My empathetic abilities are severely strong. It has played a massive role in what movies I watch, music I listen to, & the books I read..
I get embarrassed by certain scenes in movies, (not that I'm a prude, but moments when a character is supposed to be embarrassed or even awkward moments, even sometimes the sex scenes because I can feel the actors' feeling towards each other) so much so that my family never lets me hold the remote when we watch movies, because I have been known to change the channel mid-scene to get away from the emotions. Can I tell you how many movies and shows this has ruined for me?? Everyone would love the movie and I'm like no they didn't fit together well, or whatever reason I just wouldn't like the movie; even when there hadn't been a shred of evidence that the cast didn't like each other or get along famously.
I don't watch the news because it just feels like one big wave of fear,anger, despair, and loneliness coming from the t.v. I sure don't watch horror movies, sometimes in the middle of action movies I get the urge to laugh because that was the emotion felt by the actor. Movies with rape, or sexual assault get a massive pass, because I can feel it, and after a while it can only bring you down more. I haven't read a lot of the Oprah's book club books because many of her books have the same theme, like "where the heart is" I never got to the end of the book because of the graphic details of one scene.
I just couldn't, there are so many other situations like this, that i have found it easier to withdraw from some people and situations. No matter how good my wards are I always feel the emotions especially in large crowds. This led to me being socially awkward at times, because there is nothing like knowing what the person talking to you is really feeling to kill a good vibe. Even now, when i work with people I can sometimes tell when they are lying because their emotions don't match what they are saying. So saying all of this you know how awkward it is when I get hit on by a guy who's really smoking and all he's thinking about is hitting and quitting right???
Back to the white baths (more on that later) for me a white bath is a saving grace. It includes cleaning the bathtub to get rid of any negatively, lighting white candles that have been charged for healing, smudging the room, summoning up the angels for healing, playing either ritual music or meditation music and taking a bath in a tub full of Epsom salt and charged essential oils to help clear away the negative or cloying feelings. Since yesterday was cleaning day I already knew the tub was clean, I just needed my Epsom salt and essential oils. I wash myself from head to toe including my dreads, and chant or prayer while doing so, I never really remember what I say but I always end with a blessing which I will share here:
Blessed is my mind which knows the mysteries of the Goddess
and is blessed with calm and clarity
Blessed are my eyes which see all she allows me to see
may I see the truth, and not the lies
Blessed are my ears, which hear the words of the Goddess
and hear the whispers of my elders,
may nothing I hear lead me from my destiny.
May I hear the truth and know it
Blessed are my lips that speak the words of the Goddess
May nothing I say harm another, or lead them from their paths
May I speak truth always
Blessed is my heart that beats to the rhythm of the inner mysteries
may it recognize love, give love and be love
Blessed my womb, that holds the future generation,
may I always have the strength of the Mother
and the ferociousness of the Maiden
& the Wisdom of the Crone within me
Blessed are my legs which guide my feet on this path
Blessed are my knees that kneel at the altar of the Gods
Blessed are my feet that walk the path of the Goddess,
may they guide me deeper into your mysteries,
and never stray from my journey.
my true destiny
Blessed am I, a child of the Goddess and God
May I be a Light and shining example for others to see
Surrounded and Protected by my Mother Goddess and Father God
I am Truth
I am Light
I am Love
I am Protected
I am Blessed
I then seal the blessing and quietly release any and all beings called to the ritual.. I would then (if it was spring or summer and early fall) go outside and put my feet in the ground (counter productive to a bath I know but it works) this aides in grounding me as, my property is also a part of my shield. if it's winter and it's not too cold I go for a walk around my neighborhood, and come back to myself, I may go to my woods and sit by the waterfalls, I unplug and allow myself the time to heal from such a moment, then I know that this is another thing (situation, emotion) that can slip in past my wards and can be better prepared next time.
I'm not saying this because I don't want to feel empathy or any of the emotions associated with dealing with yesterday's story, but such strong emotions will drain you and make it hard for you to carry on. It's one of the reasons many empaths who are untrained may become depressed or become addicted to things to aide in drowning out the sounds, feeling and impressions. Years ago before many knew there were websites for like minded people many who weren't able would unfortunately either be admitted to facilities to "help" them or some would take their lives. This is how I heal and protect myself, and I wanted to share for those who may also be like me and needed someone to let them know that it gets easier, but it's a learning process and it can easily have slip-ups too. I will post about the white bath later
Be Blessed my loves
May the Goddess and God protect and guide you
Your white bath is amazing, what a wonderful blessing and protection. I know to an extent how you feel, I have the same problems, I easily take on the feelings of others and cant explain why I am suddenly sad or very happy or board etc. etc. I learned a long time ago that the closer I am to someone the more I take on their feelings, or maybe the more easily they penetrate my wards etc. I have not had the same problems with movies etc. But I am very choosy as to what I will watch because watching a drama or a war movie and pull me down for weeks, the news is the same I try to stay away from it at all costs. I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't mind sharing more on this, how you cope and the situations you have had to deal with it. I have not run into a lot of people who are like this and willing to share so I often feel like I am the only one who feels like this and maybe I am just crazy or have some mental disorder. I have always been told I am overly emotional about 'nothing' but it never feels like nothing to me. If you are willing to share and dont feel pressured to do so if you arnt comfy, my email is faerie.sage at gmail.com Hope we can chat
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@Faerie Sage, this is what I meant when I said I was going to start sharing, some aren't comfortable with the knowledge so I have always had to keep it to myself. I definitely know what you mean about the "emotional" talks from family members.
ReplyDeleteNo your not crazy (I used to think that also) we empaths gotta stick togehter or maybe not LOL
You know cause we can feel each others feeling Ok it wasn't funny I'll stop now ;P
I will be sharing more about being an empath and the measures I take to protect myself So stay tuned.
BB
I'm an empath also and easily get burned out and overwhelmed by people/situations. I can't watch the t.v. news because I feel like you everything to the soul core. I've learned how to do a mirror spell/white light bubble to help me. I really like your white bath. And I too can't read a lot of "O's" books because they all seem so desolate. We're a lot alike :) I would rather have a few close friends than a lot of superficial friends. Have you ever learned about Carl Jung's typology? I think you'll really appreciate it and understand yourself more. Go to the internet and search for "Jung's Typology" and there will be quizzes, but I can guarantee I know what your results will be. And what I like about this type of personality test, is there's no right or wrong, bad or good etc...it just explores the differences. You will probably understand immediately what he was going after and you'll go "a-ha!" He doesn't use the word "empath" but has different terminology that I use for myself more every day to day. Probably, because I received my counseling masters at a school that was "depth" oriented (in other words, a psychological orientation from Carl Jung's work). I'll be interested to hear what you learn. Thank you for sharing your bath, I love it.
ReplyDeleteFor some really, really weird reason, Aisha, my friends blogger profile was used instead of mine, for the comment I left above, crazy..Anyway, this is Wendy from "The Year of the Cats" who left the comment, not my friend, Stacy, lol...
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! I am so glad that you will be sharing! With the 30 posts of truth over at Faerie Sage Kitchen. I am pretty tapped out for November, but I am hoping in Dec to get into some bigger issues an dealing with more spiritual things. I needed some healing for myself and the 30 posts of truth has been a real healing exercise. There were so many things I just needed to let go and releasing them with words to my blog has been allowing me to let go. I look forward to your posts as I know that it will have great depth.
ReplyDeleteStacy Lynn, glad to meet you too, always good to know an empath, I'll try the Jung thing out and see what comes up.
Blessings
@ Wendy LOL I have done that alot, when my sisters and I shared our computers we would forget the other person was on FB and write comments under their names. SO believe me I know. As for Carl Jung that's not the first time I have heard that so I'm thinking it's time to look into it Thank you, for the recommendation I will look into it.
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@Faerie Sage: It's amazing seeing so many taking on the challenge and learning to really view and SEE themselves. Yes I do know what you mean about the releasing when i joined YT they had a "Secrets" video going around and I was terrified but I did it and it was amazing to let go of some of those fears and know that I wasn't the only one who was dealing with those issues. So I can't wait to see what you have on tap for us.
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