Monday 8 November 2010

Failed Test

Positive   Negative
(test image courtesy of the CDC)

*I know I am on break, but I thought this important enough to share, and when inspiration strikes, move or the thought will be gone.*

I don't know about you but I have never been this happy to have failed an exam as I am today. This was also contributing to the stress, why I couldn't concentrate to write anything, because I was in a state of worry. (Le Huge Relieved Sigh :P)

I have Lupus and get routine exams far more often than the average person. Yet last year one exam slipped through the cracks, so I went on friday to get my HIV test. Those fifteen minutes before the rapid test came back were the worst in my life.  Now I'm in no way promiscuous, I can count on one hand and still have fingers left over how many partners I have had. My most recent partner and I are mutually exclusive, but He's a Marine (Calm down, I'm not saying he's cheating because he is in the military, however sometimes he is stationed away from home for a long time, and it can get lonely, Just Saying, I have seen it happen) and there is no way for me to guarantee that he is faithful other than his word. It's not that I don't believe him (he's never given me cause not to believe him). However the only person I can be sure about is myself.

I'm in the medical field and I can't tell you how many young men and women I have seen getting the news they didn't expect who would swear up and down that they are in a mutually exclusive relationship. The growing number of women getting HIV and AIDS diagnosis are older women, not the young kids anymore. the numbers are astounding considering AIDS became known to so many of us growing up. In the women's demographic ages 30-39 are at 31% of new infections, and 25% for ages 40-49 with 10% over 50.

I don't want to just throw numbers at you, all you have to do is google: man sentenced to jail for infecting women with HIV ( I have provided the google answer page here) there are several cases, it even made it onto Oprah, she had seven older women, educated, divorced, some widowed who all dated a man who got tested and LIED to them about his results, one woman even drove him to the clinic, and that is how the cops were able to hold him responsible because they could link his test to that date and noted when the women became infected.

  We are educated on how to tell others their results, how to keep from being infected ourselves since we work with pathogens, but there is no way to prep for the results yourself. I can now see why so many don't come back for the results, which is why I am glad there is now the rapid test, and there are two kinds of the rapid, one which is oral and one which uses the blood both of which are accurate within 99%. So a false positive is very rare, and then you back it up with the full test, to truly know.

I worked as a CNA in a rehabilitation center when I was younger and it would amaze you to know we have to give the AIDS and condoms talk to the elderly. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with older people getting their swerve on, O_o but many grew up in a different time and don't tend to believe us about the risks of infection, one elderly man told me " I'm 72 if I get that it it can't do much more to me than time has". (O_o, all made possible by those little pills).

All of this is to say my loves, many of us are searching for love, whatever that flavor of love comes in be smart, the only person who you can absolutely be positive about is yourself. DON'T risk your health because your afraid to be alone, or whatever excuse.  It can happen to anyone.  Yes there are drugs, but the disease isn't stagnant and it isn't stupid and like death it is an equal opportunity employer, race, status, income doesn't matter, drugs only work for so long,

I am worth more than having the title of "Wife" or "Partner" attached to my name. I am the child of the Divine, I won't risk it, neither should you

*Side-bar, if you want you can take the little pic above and write a blog for yourself, I release this one image for that use (no profiting)*


  1. @ Kallan thanks, i wasn't sure if i should share, but sharing is caring (well this kind of sharing anyway)


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