Tuesday 22 January 2013

Book Review: Fire Burn & Cauldron Bubble

Book Title: Fire Burn & Cauldron Bubble
Author: HP Mallory
Publisher: Smashwords
Format: ebook
Cost: $0.00
Pages: 255
How I got it: Kindle Freebie
My Rating:★★★☆☆
Erotica Rating: N/A
Life isn't bad for psychic Jolie Wilkins. True, she doesn't have a love life to speak of, but she has a cute house in the suburbs of Los Angeles, a cat and a quirky best friend. Enter Rand Balfour, a sinfully attractive warlock who insists she's a witch and who just might turn her life upside down. Rand hires her to help him solve a mystery regarding the death of his client who also happens to be a ghost. Jolie not only uncovers the cause of the ghost's demise but, in the process, she brings him back to life! Word of Jolie’s incredible ability to bring back the dead spreads like wildfire, putting her at the top of the underworld’s most wanted list. Consequently, she finds herself at the center of a custody battle between a villainous witch, a dangerous but oh-so-sexy vampire, and her warlock boss, Rand

My Review:
Ghosts, witches, warlocks Oh My!! Psychic Jolie has gained a smoking hot new client with an odd coloured aura.  hired for a new job, Jolie is surprised to discover something new about herself.  And eve more shocked to discover that there is a world that runs parallel to out own world one that has all the nightmare creatures in it. What is a witch to do??

Sounds good doesn't it?? I at first enjoyed this book, it started off pretty amazing, the cover art is amazing;  because I never read the previews I had no idea what the book was supposed to be about.  As I was reading i vacillated from loving rand & Jolie to wanting to slap both of them & wondering why I was reading the book. then something would happen to pull me back in.  Jolie as a character annoyed me, she refused to 'grow' or change. 

As I was reading these things stood out to me:
  1. the lead character refused to have any kind of self confidence AT ALL, which of course blocked her gifts immensely & then she began to whine that she wasn't anything special O_o. Why why the hell should I keep reading if your not special??
  2. She was seriously a very cautious & reserved character without explaining why. What happened?? Why doesn't she trust men?? *Sidebar* why do authors create female characters that are seriously undersexed until the meet their perfect guy, then BOOM they become sex kittens?? I need a character that is confident in her decision even if it is the decision to wait until she is with the perfect partner or married or in a committed relationship.  Please write characters that are confident in their sexuality ^& aren't so damn CRAZY.  
After a while I got really annoyed with Jolie. She just didn't grow in the book. She just allowed things to happen.  Everyone kept telling her she was better than she actually was and she just refused to believe it.  On Goodreads i kept updating:

  • dear authors  =either put sex in or leave it out entirely, stop trying to be a prude and a normal healthy woman at the same time it just doesn't work. it's irritating and clearly shows that the character has no sense of self
  • please somebody kill her and be done with it. whyy?? whhhhhyyyy am i still reading this. I'm going to finish even if it kills me *which it just might*
  • Would I be wrong to punch Jolie in the head?? " i didn't come here to have sex with you" *takes off clothes* ~~~ this teasing ass heffa, lookie here. either have some or don't have some but stop being such a freaking tease, your getting on my nerves.
  • Trent is an idiot he dated You, that's what makes him an idiot, not punching Rand, the dating you makes him an idiot.
  • Jolie= idiot. I just can't with these characters that have such low self esteem but are supposed to be the saviours of anything, umm listen if you don't believe in yourself I'm not following you across the room much less into war.
  • oh Gawd Jolie, i need you to grow some serious cajones

It's a fun mindless read, it doesn't add anything new to the genre but it's still an okay read.  I didn't like that her friend Christa wasn't a fully fleshed out character.  I get that there are four other books in the series so she didn't want this one to have all the fun, but I need a reason to come back to your series.  Jolie kinda reminded me of MaryJanice Davidson's Betsy ( & I stopped reading  that series a while ago).  

Although the story started off strong and had me hooked; I just wanted to be done & I especially wanted to smack Jolie especially about Trent.  By the end of book I was just happy to be done & move on.  If you just want a mindless read then have at it.  Others seemed to love the series, I'm going to read another and find out if it's just the first book that wasn't to my liking.

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