Wednesday 11 August 2010

Every once in a while

in a brief moment of clarity, with nothing but the sound of humanity around me I wonder about life and the whys of it. Do you ever look at your life and simply wonder Why? Why do you do the things you do? Why do you have all these possessions?

Once a year I take a vacation i leave family, friends and expectations behind, I don't do anything but what i want to do when i want to do it . I don't clean up I don't cook sometimes I don't shower (on those days i never ever leave the room) Just raw me... meeting me, time for introspection time to decide whether or not i like the direction my life is going in, i wonder who i have become and ponder the decisions that brought me there. I re-evaluate and today after watching a bunch of shows i really wasn't interested in just so i could have back ground noise I decided to do something for me, I showered washed my locs did them up sat down and watched the seasons of a show I wanted bought pizza and ate 1/2 without guilt and now I'm on here.

 In moments like this there is a feeling of un-satisfaction. There is the feeling that i could be doing something more "productive" with this time, i any number of projects that i have committed to that i could be working on. Yet not today, today the show ended i didn't turn on any music or anything else I just let the sounds of outside flow over me. and for the first time in a long time felt peace. No lonely not sad just quiet. There is a coolness in the air that makes it relaxing,  there no rush to do anything just the knowledge that i have set a date with myself and I'm going to stick with it.

There are many things to be unsatisfied about in life, the state of the world, the global issues, heck the state of affairs here in the USA but for today I tuned them out, today i vegged out and allowed myself the opportunity to just BE

There are no voices in my head tallying up the chores and the bills and worrying about what will happen in the future or whats going to happen when the vacation is over, its just quiet and Goddess Alive do I love the quiet.
I once read a quote from Buddha

{" I desire peace" if we take away ego "i", and eliminate attachments "desire" all your left with is peace
Wow its taken years to figure that out, and in a moment of brief silence  on a warm summer day I finally understand this statement.

What about you dear readers? Have any epiphany moments you want to share?

As always my loves
Happy Flying

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