Many of us (myself included) find it hard to leave a zone with which we have familiarity. Once we know a routine, we tend to stick to it. Its part and parcel of being a human being.
I was in a discussion with a cousin the other day and noted that this season is my favourite due to all the good memories assoicated with getting ready for school.
Now I'm originially from NYC and loved to go shopping in Fordham Road, where they had a open air mall with ever kind of store you can think of. At the top ruling over it all was Caldor (yes I know this ages me but what can i say?) Caldor was the best store to shop for school supplies, the bargain basement prices would make Walmart jealous. My Mom loved to plan ahead for the school year and with four girls in school only a few grades apart its little wonder. She had a special white storage container she would always fill with supplies before the school year started and it would last throughout the year. Seeing that container filled with our stuff, knowing everything was crisp and new filled me with a great sense of excitement. Man do i miss those days. We would go shopping for Lisa Frank accessories (Dont. Judge. Me)
Going from Caldor (before it closed) we would head to Woolworth and have an amazing smoothie, then shop for whatever we didn't get at Caldor. In NYC you didn't go to school without a Jansport black book-bag, a new pair of tims, and a Columbia or NorthFace bubble coat (ok Back OFF I know Im aging myself NO need to laugh), these were the only things I was allowed to wear as i attended private school for most of my academic career.
So back to the discussion with my cousin, while we were talking it hit me like a ton of bricks one of the reasons I took so long to finish college (& then I went back again, just a glutton for punishment I guess) was the feeling you get when you purchase those things, it reminded me of the shopping trips with my mother in NY and I guess delaying finishing subconsciously allowed me to hold on to the moments of prepping for the fall. Now I know a grown rational person wouldn't think of doing that but its not a conscious thought or decision, my circumstances always seemed to fit into a reason (read Excuse) for me not to take that necessary class, and then I was diagnosed and needed to get my health undercontrol so i took time off, (this was a major mistake, oh well, hindsight and all that jazz)
Once i realized why i was taking so long it just seemed to shock me out of my fears. I didn't realize i was holding back because I feared I wouldn't succeed (who doesn't have this fear?)l or that I was afraid of letting go of the happy memories associated with Fall prep? Now its time to go beyond those feeling and get out of my comfort zone and move beyond this. I need to finish this degree to do what i have always wanted to do since I followed my uncle around on his rounds in the hospital. I know what I have to do and now its time. Bet my cousin never thought a simple conversation would aide in galvanizing me into changing.
No more excuses; Its time to bust out the big girl panties and get moving.
{I have other AHA moments from this convo that I will share with you another time in the meantime:}
What have you procrastinated in accomplishing due to fear of the unknown? What has been holding you back?
As always my loves, Fly safe, and sane
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