Friday 22 October 2010

Pagan Blog Prompt: Bullying

Recently the pagan blog prompts came up with a new talking point, they wanted to talk about Bullying. This one is a pretty good talk prompt because well no guess here but i was bullied. Yes Ladies and Gents I the amazing young woman, funny, witty, sarcastic, and did I mention smart?? was bullied.

I guess this is what happens when your family works at your school.  My Mom worked at a college which had a elementary school attached and the children of the teachers  went there, so that's all she wrote

Let me explain:

I went to private school almost my whole life, the uncomfortable uniforms never made me feel good, the stress of being around people who i could feel the animosity made me very sick.

 I had a teacher who made it her job the entire time I was in her class to attempt to catch me unawares, or unprepared. She led the bullying for that year. She picked on everything I did in front of the other students, its a small school so there is no where to hide, she didn't like my shoes, they weren't shined enough the pleats in my skirt weren't straight enough, if there was an excuse she found a reason to call me out in front of EVERYONE.  This of course became stressful, so much so that my deodorant would fail (i'm in 7th grade at this point) and no matter how much i applied whenever i went to her class i always ended up smelling (defense mechanism perhaps)
I can look back at it now and laugh but when i was in it, it wasn't comfortable at all. I had no place to go and no one to turn to because my Mom didn't believe a teacher would pick on a student.  Even though i would achieve the best grades in the class when awards time came around; I never seemed to win student of the month. When it happened for the third time, my Mom had the Principal launch an investigation and sure enough, the teacher was awarding non deserving students because according to her "she has to learn that she can't win ALL the time",O_o but it didn't feel as good as if I had received it in front of the school assembly.

There are a few thousand moment and instances of being at this school that i could talk about, none of them good the only thing that kept me going was knowing i was getting out of there and i was going to my school of choice. I got into one of the best all girls school in NY, and I'll never forget the day when they had all the seniors stand up in front of the assembly and tell which schools they were going to SUCCESS. the feeling of elation of knowing I had gotten in when the students who picked on me, the ones the teacher preferred hadn't made it it, Nothing can compare to that sweet taste of freedom, of knowing i would never have to see those bitches again.

High School was different, I knew too many people to be picked on I hung out with everyone, the metal heads, the goths, the geeks, the "thugs" from the all boys school down the street and learned to adapt when making friends, I found my own niche, it helped to know i had a Goddess backing me up and I wouldn't fail with her as my friend, I made many life long friends and some people I was glad to see the back of when i graduated. Even though I knew people i still got bullied a little because i didn't pick a group and stick to it, so the jocks would make fun of my "geek" friends and the cheerleaders (why is always the cheerleaders?) never really liked me because i hung out with their boyfriends a lot (football fan what can I say?).It was kinda hard to pick on me though because I myself was a jock i did cross country track and gymnastics, and in my junior year cheerleading (can't beat em join em) as well as being student body president for the last two years of school.

All of this is to say, despite them I am here, I succeeded, i certainly didn't have to deal with the level of bullying going on now, but it was still intense. The minute I left my old elementary school behind, my body odor issues stopped, my face which had been in constant break out mode, calmed down, the few extra pounds I just couldn't seem to lose disappeared, that summer between junior and high school was one of the best ever.  I think back on it now and i know the stress of being in that room with that woman everyday for five days a week was the root cause.

How do we deal with the new kind of bullying going on?
Well considering the way our kids are left to resolve it, this is a serious issue and one we cannot ignore by pretending our kids are perfect angels.  We need to give our children the confidence to meet their challenges head on, and to never fear the bullies, When a young woman from school threatened to jump me, I went right to the Principal (yeah i snitched AND?) I worked in the office during school so i knew him pretty well, my Dad got called and he walked me out of school, when we were leaving i saw the girl and pointed her out to my Dad and he walked me up to her and asked what was her problem, when she couldn't answer, he told me in front of them(her and her little crew) that if they ever hit me in my face  that I'm allowed to hit back and keep hitting until i see white meat. O_O LMAO now i think about this it might not have been the sanest advice but it worked, having them know that i was allowed by my parent to fight back and that i wouldn't get in trouble at home? Priceless.
is this the solution? letting these kids know that their victims will kick their asses? What about those who never actually hit someone? How do we handle those? I just know for me being quick witted always worked nothing like leaving the bully attempting to figure out if you insulted them or not, while you skiddale down the hall.

I don't know dear readers, for me I can't advocate fighting unless absolutely necessary, but a verbal war?!?! Man listen; my mom's an English Professor, I can cuss you out in both Old and New English!! You may not get all the references but me?? I'm the chick walking down the hall laughing cause to me your the stupid one, Confidence is key, and maybe that's what both the bullies and the victims are missing.  That and the threat of a good ass whooping might fix the problem (but hey that's just me)

Well Folks have at it: What do you say? How would you handle being bullied? And yes to this day there are small moments of bullying among adults especially when you don't fit the "norm" as most of us Pagans don't so how do you handle it?


  1. Hi Aisha
    I think your wonderful for coping with what you had too - and glad to see it made your stronger - I dont deal with bullies and usually remove myself or them from my company - now if only I could remove my mother in law ;)

  2. @ Neen Yes!!! I learned how to handle them but its sad that we have to do so. Thank You so much for your kind words
    Blessed Be

  3. Thanks for sharing with us at Pagan Blog Prompts! Glad to see things worked out for you in the end.


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