Friday, 10 September 2010

Relationships




there is no way to make our way through life without creating them. As hard as they are to form, they can sometimes be hard to maintain and even harder to let go.

Recently, a friend and I were talking and she obviously couldn't keep it in anymore she started unloading about the state of her marriage. Just a little background about the friend and her hubbie; they have been together for a few years & recently got married. Before they got married, like most modern couples, they lived together. The major reasons they got married is because he wanted to (yes you read that right*clue 1*).

Right before they got married she expressed that they were having issues with money (*Clue 2), I mentioned to her that money issues is the number one reason for divorce and before they got married they should sit down and discuss their attitudes about money; maybe even seek a professionals help.

She never took that advice.

Fast forward a few years to today, we met for coffee and she tells me everything.
For the last few months they have been having major arguments about money. They made decision for her to stay home after their baby was born (this is their first after all). A few weeks after she gets home and he asked her how she was going to pay her half of the bills?? O_o  


The last few months of their relationship has been arguing over the bills, with her pointing out that other couples make it on one income, heck his sister is a stay at home mom and her husband has a lower paying job than he does(he wasn't pleased to hear that, yet he used this same argument to get her to stay home O_o). She doesn't want to go back to work yet because their child is too young to go into any school, which would mean a nanny or a daycare which would make even less financial sense.

Their biggest fight came recently when he told her he had made a mistake in marrying her. O_o ................... I'll give you a moment to digest that.

Now if your just joining me you probably haven't read the blog about Families, and how to fight fair, never EVER say something that can't be taken back.

The real big problem is not so much what he is saying or doing (although he is acting like a right shyt), its why he is doing it.  A little history on him, his family had a nasty divorce (think Ivana and Donald times 3) & he got pulled between both parents; after growing up in such a family (im guessing) he expects the same from her. So he is creating the very thing he fears. And he is punishing his wife for something she has never done.


Back to the coffee shop, and my friend has finished telling me everything.
She has come to the crossroads in her life of deciding whether she wishes to fight for her marriage by making him take therapy about his deep issues, or moving on.

What do you think readers? Should she break for the nearest exit or stay and really fight it out? After his comment would you stay?

Check out Part Two
And as always fly safe and sane my loves



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