Saturday 18 December 2010

21 days of Yule: day 18: How an Empath does the Holidays


I love the holidays, I enjoy (some of) the music, the lights, the scents, there’s nothing quite like getting ready for Yule. The mad dash to have the cards out, the tree up the house clean, the cookies baked, ohh there is nothing quite like Yule. 
For me, this is for me is the first holiday of the new year  and that makes it a little more important because well, it sets the tone for the other Sabbats coming up after it.(as I count Samhain as my new year); so it has be done right.

Although I love this season, I  battle depression and Seasonal affective disorder or as I love to call it 'sadd' and sometimes it's a struggle to keep my self happy during the ‘winter-time blues’. This of course is made worse when I go into the mall;, I can feel the desperation of the shoppers as they seek that ‘perfect’ gift, not all of them but some can be a bit desperate as they scramble to find that gift with only a few days left.  then sometimes I can feel the depression that many are feeling at this time of year, especially when they don't have family or friends to celebrate with. There is a push within the media at this time of year for you to shop for that someone special and when many people greet the holidays without someone this can be a source of depression, it's well known among the medical community that this the highest times for suicides because people feel abandoned or alone.

 My favorite place to seek refuge in the mall? The Santa photo booth, Why do you ask? Quite simply because there is a lot children there, and children especially during this season are literally bursting with happiness, joy, innocence, and excitement. Just being near that source of energy is enough to aide in letting go of any of the negative feelings that have cloyed their way past my defenses. Hearing the squealing kids who are excited to see Santa, can be a good balm to anyone's battered defenses. And if there are too many crying kids, who a feeling distressed about sitting on a strangers lap, i seek out the serenity waterfalls our mall has (well had, they haven't put it back since the renovations started) 

To deal with all of that is simple really I don't go to the mall if I don't have to, or I go really early or really late so I'm not among the crowds,
But what about at your family parties? Or friends home or office party? Some place you can't get away? 
I have learned to batten down the hatches before going out by doing a centering and grounding ceremony, but sometimes there are people who are shouting at you without even knowing it, who are sharing all their emotions and feelings and no matter how much you attempt to avoid them they seem to be following you around the room. Another trick I have learned is to wear or carry a set of small prayer beads that I have blessed, or even a small stone citrine is great..

If you don't have any of those, then focusing on the music being played can help, allow the rhythm of the music to create a beat within and imagine as the beat happens that it is helping to cleanse you. Or if there are any bells near by (i have taken one off an office party tree before) make a beeline for a bathroom or a quiet corner and attempt to cleanse by ringing the bell..  there;s nothing like being around family and friends to stress you out and weaken the defenses you have in place. Ground and center as much and as often as possible, use the natural decorations such as the tree, if you can go near enough to smell it if it's a live tree, and let the scent help to clear away the negative feelings; do this as a  part of your grounding and you will be able to make it til the end, or until it's polite enough to escape. 

If your there with your partner they can also provide you with shelter.Lucky for me, my partner is a void. To me he's like a blank slate, I can't read him at all (which has both it's ups and downs, but I get it, his profession made him good at hiding what he's thinking) , but he's good at reading me, and can tell when I'm in deep, sometimes I seek shelter with him and he can aide in quieting the noise. If your partner isn't a void, they can still help, being with someone who you can trust and are secure in their love can act as a blanket, especially if they know how to do this, by simply sending their love to you, imaging it wrapping you up and protecting you, even the simple physical contact with that lover can help to strenghten your defenses (unless of course they are amplifiers, but that's a whole other story). 

And if all else fails, you can feed off the energy of the gathering, find the group that is having the most fun, or really having a good time, and simply allow what they are feeling to flood in, allow it to fill you up so much that the negatives emotions can't come in.
You can also allow the negative in, but simply become a conduit, allow it to flow through you but not into you, just act like a electric wire, the energy flows along it but doesn't stay within the wire, it moves on to a bigger charge. This particular effort can be draining, so it's better to try to 'feed' from the room than pull in the negative.
Caution you aren't targeting one person in the group,(so don't say later that I told you to do so) your attempting to pull the excess energy they are releasing into the atmosphere or the room into yourself, so your not harming anyone, and of course anything you don't need you release back into the universe.

Then of course if i know i have an issue with a particular personae, home, or event, I try to find some pretty good excuses as to why I can't go, or barring that why we can't stay.

I hope these suggestions helped, have a wonderful time at those parties my loves
Blessed Be


  1. Wonderful and helpful. I do not like going out. One thing, I have not been clear on why, but being in large groups just works on me to the point I can not function. What you share here rings true to me in so many ways. There are times when I have made plans, felt absolutely great and in no time at all, my mood was completely changed for no real apparent reason that I could explain.

    I also want to thank you for the Yule Blog Party and letting me a part of it. It has been inspiring and filled a void for me this year.

    I wish you a wonderful holiday season.

    The Wytch's Mirror

  2. I avoid the malls on weekends before christmas. If I go there thinking that I am going to shop, I end up feeling frazzled and annoyed. I know it is from absorbing the energies buzzing around. However, once in a while, maybe once every 2 or 3 yrs. I will go to the mall when it is busy just to watch people. If I go with that intent, I am prepared. I have my shields up pretty well, apparently, if I go with the intent to not buy or shop but to just 'be' in the crowd. On those occasions, I enjoy it and leave feeling energized in a good way. I usually find people that amuse me in those circumstances.

  3. @Cynthia sometimes I do stay at home, it's just easier to have the party here where i have shields in place as well.
    Your welcome I enjoyed seeing how everyone celebrates, prepares and thinks about Yule
    thanks for sharing

  4. @ Sophiadawn i hadn't noticed that, i now have a idea of what to do when i go there. people watching is funny
    thanks for sharing BB

  5. I am sorry to be so behind reading all of the other blogs...I've been pampering my son who has a really badly abcessed tooth, and is prepping for a root canal.

    Anyway, at the risk of sounding ignorant or stupid, what is an empath?

    Thanks so much Aisha for keeping the rest of us going. though, I feel kind of sad that it seems no one is visiting my blog much these days.
    warm blessings,

  6. @Susan, girlie it's not just you. everyone is running down the last of the holiday prep.
    An empath is someone who has the psychic ability to feel other people's emotions, sometimes impressions and thoughts can also be gleaned. we are one of the many different forms of psychic ability out there.


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